Why She’s Out: Chely Wright Chooses Honesty Over Fear
By Tom Roland
In publicly announcing her homosexuality, Chely Wright has stepped over a figurative line that was drawn in the sand in country music years ago. She is not the first star who’s been rumored to be gay, but she is the first to publicly admit it, and it’s a step that leaves some observers scratching their heads.
It’s tough enough to get a recording deal. Tougher still to have hits. And it’s enormously difficult to hold a fan base together when there’s always a bevy of new artists attracting attention from consumers who only have so much money to spend.
The industry has long believed that country’s fan base won’t support a gay man or woman. Chely is essentially testing that theory with her admission in her new autobiography, Like Me.
“Country music is typically known to be conservative,” she said Wednesday on NBC’s “Today” show. “Our fan base is convservative. Pretty much our industry, the people who run it, have conservative beliefs, and it’s widely kown to be about God and country and family. For some reason, people don’t think that can co-exist with being a homosexual.”
For years, Chely bought into that belief and doggedly protected her private life from public scrutiny. It was a difficult process, and she managed to uphold her Christian integrity by never lying about it to anyone. People told her periodically that there were rumors she was a lesbian, but no one ever actually asked her if they were true, not until John Rich heard them.
“John’s telling me that, ‘Hey, you gotta hit this gay thing head-on. You’re not gay, are you?’” she recounted. “That was the first time I’d lied about it. I’d put myself in a spot where I’d never been asked the question. I’d been so detached to the point I think people thought I was snotty or cold or hard to get to know, but that’s the way I had to live my life in the closet, and John finally asked me point blank, ‘You’re not gay. If you are, people won’t have it. It’s sick, it’s deviant, it’s unacceptable to country music fans.’ And he said, ‘You’re not, are you?’ And I lied. And I knew I had gone from not talking about it to now, I’m a liar.”
In short order, Chely reached the pit of desperation, ready to pull the trigger on a 9-millimeter gun and kill herself. The pieces of her life didn’t seem to fit, and in being flagrantly dishonest about it, she was going against the very foundation of her belief system. Chely began crying, and that act was enough to stop her suicide attempt. She put the gun down and went to bed. When she awoke the next morning, she feared that the sight of the weapon might reignite plans to end it all. She looked for help the only way she knew.
“I got on my knees and I spoke out loud to God and I stopped praying for what I’d always prayed for, which was, ‘Help me find a way to figure out a way to still have my career and everything [else],’” she said. “I changed my prayer. And my prayer was, ‘God, give me a moment’s peace.’ I got up off my knee, I said amen and I got my moment’s peace, and I got the understanding. I didn’t hear God’s voice, I didn’t see a guy in a robe, but I heard God say what he’d been whispering in my ear all along: ‘I expect one thing of you and that is to tell the truth.’”
Chely details her journey in the book, which coincides with a new album, Lifted Off The Ground. She’s able to convey her difficult story in part because she now feels some spiritual peace and resolution.
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